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The Care and Feeding of Industry Analysts

Posted on March 4, 2010 ·

toilet Some of my email spam is actually quite entertaining, like this offer for a “research report”:

The Care and Feeding of Industry Analysts

The Top 10 Questions The Care and Feeding of Industry Analysts Will Answer For You Include:
1. What are the ten deadly sins NOT to commit when working with an industry analyst firm?
2. What are the typical characteristics of an industry analyst that will enable you to more effectively work with them?
3. As a vendor, when should you be humble and when should you position yourself as an expert?
4. Does subscribing to an analyst’s research improve coverage of your products or company?
5. How is a research briefs created and what impact can a vendor have on its content?
6. What are the three highest-level benefits you can enjoy from an effective analyst relations approach?
7. How can you best capitalize on industry analyst ‘rules of engagement?’
8. Precisely what homework must you do before you brief an analyst?
9. How do vision and ability to execute relate to how an analyst sees your company?
10. During a briefing, how do CEOs, VPs of sales, PR firms and VPs of marketing impact how an analyst sees your company?

The actual report (PDF) costs EUR 316.   Is it worth?  I leave it up to you … but I promised entertainment. Look at the other “research” this paper is associated with:

Customers who bought this item also bought
Chinese Markets for Baby Care Products
Toilet Care Products – United Kingdom
Surface Care – United Kingdom
Chinese Markets for Laundry Care Products
Hair Care in the US
Laundry Care – United States
Long-Term Care Market Review 2006
The Future Of Personal Care Occasions

Wow.. .I especially love the pairing of Toilet, Laundry and Analysts 🙂

(Cross-posted @ CloudAve )

Filed Under: Humor, Marketing / PR · Tagged: , , , , ,
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Cloud Storage on the Cheap…

Posted on March 1, 2010 ·

(Cross-posted @ CloudAve )

Filed Under: Humor · Tagged: , ,
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Beyond the Web

Posted on February 26, 2010 ·

(Cross-posted @ CloudAve )

Filed Under: Humor · Tagged: , , , ,
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Bring On The Inquisition! Judge Should Not Let Google Evil-doers Get Away!

Posted on February 24, 2010 ·

<rant>

inquisition Italian Judge Oscar Magi (photo @ TechCrunch , but I am not showing it for fear he might slap me with a privacy-invasion charge) has no idea what he’s dealing with.  He’s just allowed evil witches get away with only 6 months suspended jail sentence. (C’mon, why would their employer insist on covering up with the “do no evil” slogan?).

Not enough. Time to start a full-scale witch-hunt, bring in the Spanish Inquisition (OK, you’re Italian, but let’s face it the Spanish were the masters of this art), shut down Google, then the Internet, close libraries, burn all books and rid us of all evil!

</rant>

Related articles by Zemanta

(Cross-posted @ CloudAve )

Filed Under: Humor · Tagged: , , , , , ,
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Splitting Up the US – How About the Rest of the World?

Posted on February 8, 2010 ·

That’s the map of the US based on Pete Warden’s analysis of Facebook profiles.    So I live in Socialistan – oh well, I grew up in a Communist country, if this is Socialism, I can handle it 🙂

But what about the Rest of the World?   I thought it was a good time to dust off the good old World Map – admittedly not based on scientcific research 🙂

P.S.  to potential flame-throwers: pls. look up the meaning of irony.  Or sarcasm.  🙂

Filed Under: Humor · Tagged: , , ,
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Steve Ballmer Signs a Macbook – How About the Apple Tablet?

Posted on January 25, 2010 ·

Legend says Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer got really angry last year at an internal Microsoft event, when he saw an employee taking his pic with an iPhone- he grabbed it, pretended to stomp it and made fun of the employee (is he still an employee?) .

Well apparently he is more tolerant with outsiders, in fact may even have developed a sense of humor… watch this video showing Steve Ballmer as he signs a student’s Macbook:


Now that he warmed up to it, I wonder if he’ll go on stage and sign the Apple Tablet Steve Jobs is about to unveil?

(Cross-posted @ CloudAve )

Filed Under: Humor · Tagged: , , , , , , , , ,
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Disconnect – the Generation Gap

Posted on January 19, 2010 ·

This cartoon by Agent X feels appropriate before the next post by Chirag

(Cross-posted @ CloudAve )

Filed Under: Humor · Tagged: , , , , ,
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Dilbert Knows Software Sales…

Posted on December 22, 2009 ·

Dilbert.com

Check out the Daily WTF for a relevant post

(Cross-posted @ CloudAve )

Filed Under: Humor · Tagged: , , ,
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Coding Error Buries Trader Under Heaps of Coal

Posted on December 1, 2009 ·

Photo credit: Kordite@Flickr

I’ve had The Daily WTF ever since discovering the SAP Laundry story there… it’s a hit or miss.  But today’s story is a real gem. 

“Okay, I’m here!” he angrily announced once he stepped foot in the lobby. “So let’s do this! What do I need to—”

Brad stopped mid-sentence. His eyes were immediately drawn through the floor-to-ceiling windows and onto the river bay that Æxecor’s building overlooked. There was an absolutely gigantic barge – nay, an armada of tightly-connected barges – overfilled with enormous piles of coal that was attempting to dock in front of the building. “What… the… fuuu—”

Click through to read the story at  The Daily WTF

(there’s a geek part in it about sloppy coding..etc.)

Filed Under: Humor · Tagged: , , , , ,
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Special Delivery – by the Daily WTF

Posted on December 1, 2009 ·

Photo credit: Kordite@Flickr

I’ve had The Daily WTF ever since discovering the SAP Laundry story there… it’s a hit or miss.  But today’s story is a real gem.

“Okay, I’m here!” he angrily announced once he stepped foot in the lobby. “So let’s do this! What do I need to—”

Brad stopped mid-sentence. His eyes were immediately drawn through the floor-to-ceiling windows and onto the river bay that Æxecor’s building overlooked. There was an absolutely gigantic barge – nay, an armada of tightly-connected barges – overfilled with enormous piles of coal that was attempting to dock in front of the building. “What… the… fuuu—”

Click through to read the story at  The Daily WTF

(P.S. there’s something in it for geeks – sloppy coding..etc.)

(Cross-posted @ CloudAve )

Filed Under: Humor · Tagged: , , , , ,
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