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Musical Spreadsheets – Microsoft PR Blunder #… ?

If you have a  lot of documents, you should use Windows Media Player to pull them up…

No, it’s not a joke.  This Vista review by the Wall Street Journal (subscription only, but here’s a summary by Michael Parekh) discovered that if you have thousands of files, Vista comes to it’s knees. Displaying a complex directory structure with thousands of entries took Vista over 6 minutes – still better than XP, which simply crashes.   (Mac: 30 seconds).

The reviewer contacted Microsoft, and here’s the hilarious answer (no, it was not on April 1st):

“Microsoft said I would have had better luck viewing my files in its Media Player software. As for why its file system simply wasn’t more robust in the first place, it said it put its development resources in areas that affect the most people.”

This not long after Microsoft Outlook’s Program Manager declared that the two major design changes that were heralded as key new features crippled Outlook’s performance.

I’ve long given up hope on Microsoft fixing their software… but they sure could fix their messaging problem.  Or perhaps just hire Stephen Colbert.

 

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The Most Absurd Case of Patent Trolling

This is way beyond reality:

Disc Link, a California company claims to have a patent for hyperlinking from a CD to the Web, reports InformationWeek.

“U.S. Patent No. 6,314,574, is assigned to Disc Link and governs “an information distribution system [that] encodes a first set of digital data on a plurality of portable read-only storage devices. Additional information is stored in a database that is accessible by using a bi-directional channel.”

In the patent owner’s interpretation this covers URLs.  The entire World can be sued, so they started with companies like Borland, Business Objects, Compuware, Corel, Eastman Kodak, Novell, Oracle and SAP.   Disc Link vs. The World.

As usual, Techdirt delivers some background.

I’m scared.  Not sure whether I am in violation of a patent for typing on my keybord… using the mouse… watching the creen.  Tomorrow I’ll file a broad patent on watching TV, eating breakfast, driving a car… on LIFE. 

 

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The Best Quote from Web 2.0 Expo

And the Best Quote Award (so far) goes to…. drumroll…

      …. Phil Wainewright for summing  up the wi-fi fiasco at Web 2.0:

“I was planning to live-blog the debate, but in a marketing masterstroke by WiFi sponsor Adobe to bolster interest in its Apollo smart client technology, the coverage was so poor I was obliged to take notes offline.” smile_teeth

Hilarious.  Btw, don’t expect longer posts from me for lack of power and wireless.

 

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The Long Swim to SAPPHIRE

SAP’s Craig Cmehil is excited to come to Atlanta as part of the Bloggers’ Corner at SAP’s annual mega-event, SAPPHIRE. He even included the map of the Congress Center area. Nice … but Craig, you should look at another map – the one that tells you how to get there. Pay special attention to step# 35. I hope you start training soon.smile_shades

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E&Y Happy Day

Oh, Rod, how could you leave such happy days behind? smile_secret

 

 

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Confusing Spam

Three consecutive entries in my spam folder:

  • Viagra for You!
  • How does Cialis work?
  • Beware of Fake Pills.

Oh, boy… what to do, what to do?  Computer Not Working 3

 

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TrashCrunch: TechCrunch CrowdSources Writing

After losing hired guns writers left and right Mike Arrington decided the smartest way to get us all work for him is crowdsourcing. In fact, why not get it all free?    So he came up with this bogus theme:

“I want you to tell me how much we (occasionally) suck. Sometimes our predictions are, with the benefit of hindsight, way off. Or they had no logical basis to begin with. Or perhaps we got some crucial fact wrong. Whatever it is, I want you to dig out the worst post in TechCrunch history and write about why it’s so bad.”

In other words, he wants us, the 350K readers to find his biggest blunders.  Why?  Since so far he’s been largely positive on all-things-web-2.0 the worst blunders will likely point to business failures.  Arrington’s biggest coup will be when he finally reveals that his April Fool’s Joke wasn’t such a joke after all: he really acquired FuckedCompany. Now all he has to do is pluck in the hundreds of submissions he receives from his loyal subjects readers, and voila! – he has FuckedCrunch up and running, edited by us, the Crowd. 

Update:  I can now declare TrashCrunch. the absolute winner.   Why?  First, what better URL for the trash-TechCrunch contest?  Second, the secret sauce: dynamic content.  I can redirect it to whatever the winning entry is.ROFL 2

TrashCrunch

Update: Oh, boy, a really angry man actually takes me seriously and quotes me as reference for his ridiculous speculation. I wish he found his sense of humor. And a large dose of mouth-wash.

 

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We Will Be Assimilated. Resistance is Futile.

In the future we’re all going to become gofers for computers.” – says ZDNet’s Larry Dignan on the new Amazon patent for  a “Hybrid machine/human computing arrangement.”

Nick Carr describes it as a cybernetic mind-meld a’la Mechanical Turk.

The patent covers “a hybrid machine/human computing arrangement which advantageously involves humans to assist a computer to solve particular tasks, allowing the computer to solve the tasks more efficiently.”

Humans assisting computers, not the other way around.

This ain’t no Turk anymore Nick.  It’s The Borg.

We Will Be Assimilated. Resistance is Futile.

 

 

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Prom Queen or Justin.tv?

Michael Arrington apparently prefers Justin.tv to Prom Queen.  Oh, well, this is California smile_wink

(photo: TechCrunch

(photo: ValleyWag)

Ok, just kidding about Mike.  How about you? 
Cast your vote:

 

P.S. On a more serious note, Ustream.tv, founded by friend Chris Yeh is looking for a CTO/VP Engineering.

 

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Feeling the TechCrunch Effect

TechCrunch linked to my Gmail story.  Thanks, Mike!  I think I know how it happened smile_regular

techcrunch effect (create your own cartoons at ToonDoo

Update: TechCrunch just covered ToonDoo, which launched this morning.